Call Me Out, Sis! Relationship Edition

The second part of my “Call Me Out, Sis!” reading is here! The first is focused on personal blockages that prevent you from enjoying a healthy love connection, and this installment is on blockages that get in the way of sustaining a long-term relationship.

Each group is divided into three parts:

  • Self-undoing energies: Your own actions and beliefs that are contributing to the blockage;
  • External influences: Additional energies of those in your environment holding you back; and
  • Message from the Universe: What you can do to break the chains.

As per usual, pick one (or multiple) depending on what draws you to the numbered images. Scroll down to the corresponding numbered reading. Those who pick multiples may have layered overlapping issues that the Universe wants you to know.

GROUP 1

Bianco Nero Tarot: Moon (reversed), High Priestess (reversed), 6 of Pentacles (reversed), Ace of Wands, King of Pentacles (reversed), Strength (reversed)

Sibilla della Zingara: Misfortune (reversed), Haughtiness, Enemy (reversed)

Seasons of the Witch Samhain Oracle: Silence (reversed), Haunted

Believe in Your Own Magic Oracle: Storm

Self-undoing energies 

  • Dependent on the partner to pull them out of their funk.
  • Clinging on to victim mentality as a defense mechanism when faced with confrontations.
  • Refusing to acknowledge own lack of personal development to deal with issues like an adult.
  • Allowing emotions to cloud judgments in times of disagreements that small issues are blown out of proportions.
  • Inability to let go of past perceived slights, leaving a buildup of feelings of being attacked all the time.
  • Fatalistic point of view.

External influences

  • Attracting people with a savior complex that feeds your victim mentality.
  • Surrounding with like-minded people who 

Message from the Universe

I’m not sure if I should put a trigger warning before this reading as there’s HEAVY energy of always being attacked and offended. It feels like you’re in the starring role of an endless series of dramas and unfortunate incidents. This can be tiring for those you’re sharing your life with. 

Seeking support or professional help may seem to be a good move for some. Being in a constant state of victimhood and having a long history of always feeling attacked, anxious, and despair in relationships are not healthy default states for us to be in. There is a fine line between being supported at times when feelings are hurt and being rewarded with comfort every time you fail to cope with confrontations like an adult. 

GROUP 2

Bianco Nero Tarot: 7 of Cups, 7 of Swords (reversed), Knight of Pentacles, 3 of Wands, Knight of Swords (reversed), 3 of Pentacles

Sibilla della Zingara: Scholar (reversed), Lord (reversed), Old Woman

Seasons of the Witch Samhain Oracle: Ancestors (reversed)

Believe in Your Own Magic Oracle: Sun

Self-undoing energies 

  • Too self-conscious about what you can bring to the table in a relationship that it feels like sometimes you’re walking on eggshells around your partner.
  • Buying into negative thoughts that pop up questioning if the relationship will turn sour at a moment’s notice.
  • Looking at the relationship issues through your lens instead of taking an objective view of what your partner has to say.
  • Too concerned with trying to appear like you are in a perfect relationship instead of living it.
  • Falling into the performative love trap for people around you that you’re putting your partner’s needs before this “illusion”.

External influences

  • Inputs from people having too much impact on how your relationship should be.
  • Attracting partners who fail to see the price they have to pay to be part of your seemingly flawless life.

Message from the Universe

There is nothing wrong with hoping to have your happily ever after. But it becomes a problem when you expect the fairytale love life to be blemish-free, conflict-free, and always full of smiles and kisses. Things are going well in relationships sometimes even when it seems uneventful. Relax. 

Also, you’re not the only narrator of the love story you’re living in – remember your partner? Yeah. Them. When was the last time they have input on how both of you want to live happily ever after?

GROUP 3

Bianco Nero Tarot: 10 of Cups (reversed), 7 of Cups, 4 of Swords (reversed), Star, 7 of Swords (reversed), 5 of Wands (reversed)

Sibilla della Zingara: Joyfulness (reversed), Lover, love (reversed)

Seasons of the Witch Samhain Oracle: Haunted

Believe in Your Own Magic Oracle: Sun

Self-undoing energies 

  • Afraid of confrontations so too much compromise for sake of keeping the peace.
  • Living in denial when issues are presenting themselves to be fixed, choosing instead to make up excuses to justify its presence without addressing it.
  • Tendency to detach from reality and resort to escapism when there’s friction in a relationship.
  • Fear of being alone should you start standing up for yourself.
  • Bottling up of emotions and problems within a relationship to a point where there’s too much to cover up – then running away instead of fixing it.

External influences

  • Fear of being judged by others is difficult when standing up for yourself.
  • Trauma by people from the past who do not know how to accept criticism or have your opinions heard by them.

Message from the Universe

Confrontations can be a difficult process for someone like you to go through. The fear of saying the wrong thing and exacerbate an already unpleasant issue, intensifying friction, and just the awkwardness of dealing with the fallout from it. Well, honestly, while to a certain extent it’s true, but it’s nothing like how you imagine in your head.

For most people, this is part of being a healthy adult. Learning to express what you dislike in a relationship or having an open, two-way conversation of what needs to improve in a relationship is just something you do. If your past experience of talking out what needs to change results in a horrible reaction from the other party, then the fault is on them.

Learn to know that expressing unhappiness or receiving feedback on what your partner dislike isn’t the start of the end of a relationship. Figuring out what works and what doesn’t is an ongoing process that all couples go through. Stop bottling things up and run away when the problems get too big to ignore – speak up. As long as the discussion is level-headed and not shifting blames, you’ll be surprised at how cathartic the process is!

GROUP 4

Bianco Nero Tarot: 6 of Wands (reversed), 5 of Wands, 6 of Swords (reversed), 4 of Swords (reversed), Wheel of Fortune (reversed), Devil

Sibilla della Zingara: Scholar (reversed), Gift (reversed), Widower (reversed)

Seasons of the Witch Samhain Oracle: Divination (reversed)

Believe in Your Own Magic Oracle: Expectations

Self-undoing energies 

  • Not knowing when is the right time to part ways. 
  • Failure to recognize what is needed in a relationship and expecting love to be enough to power through any issues you both may face in the future.
  • Blinded by romance and fantasies of love instead of accepting that being in a relationship is a commitment.
  • Unhealthy expectations are placed on the partner in expecting to fulfill the fantasies you have about a perfect relationship.

External influences

  • Attracting people who superficially tick the boxes of a “partner checklist” while ignoring their obvious flaws that may cause issues later down the road.

Message from the Universe

Truman Capote said it best: “More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones.” And this seems to be a pattern of your relationship experiences. You find someone who fits the fantasy you have in your head of who you should be with. They wanna be in a relationship. Then shit isn’t as perfect as how you pictured it in your head a thousand times since you were a kid.

This is a painful lesson to learn: Sometimes we pigeonhole ourselves with an idea of how we want our relationship to be and stubbornly refuse to deviate from that path despite numerous signs that what we’re constantly chasing is just not the right fit for our life. 

The Universe is telling you to manage the expectations you’ve set up for yourself in what you expect in a partner and re-evaluate what you seek in a relationship.

GROUP 5

Bianco Nero Tarot: Knight of Swords, 8 of Pentacles, King of Cups (reversed), Devil, Knight of Wands, Strength

Sibilla della Zingara: Servant (reversed), Lover (reversed), Room (reversed)

Seasons of the Witch Samhain Oracle: Ritual

Believe in Your Own Magic Oracle: Villain

Self-undoing energies 

  • Putting in minimal efforts to tend to the flames of passion once in a relationship.
  • Expecting your partner to be there permanently once you’ve locked down the relationship.
  • Shedding the single mindset and embracing the new routines and daily activities when you’re living with someone.

External influences

  • Being attracted to the people who are the wrong fit and have different emotional wants and needs in a relationship.

Message from the Universe

Adoration, admiration, love, and mutual respect can only go so far in a relationship if you don’t bond with your partner. Some people love to do their own thing and need little else from their partner. Some need a little more than a warm body sleeping next to them on the bed.

If you like the way you are in a relationship, then change the type of people you want to be in a relationship with. There’s nothing wrong with the alternate path and it is much better as you don’t leave behind broken hearts and disappointments along the way.

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