Ho ho ho, hoes! 2021 came and nearing gone. I don’t know how to feel about this year. I need to consult my spirit guides and go on an ayahuasca vision quest to find the answers I need.
As per usual, look at the numbered graphics in the banner above, pick one that appeals to you and scroll down to the corresponding group number for your forecast. If you’re drawn to more than one group, read more than one group, duh. Like it’s really not that deep.
The Magical Nordic Tarot: 4 of Pentacles (reversed), 8 of Wands (reversed), 7 of Wands (reversed), Page of Swords (reversed), 9 of Wands (reversed)
Tarot of Sexual Magic: Knave of Chalices, Judgement, King of Wands, 10 of Pentacles (reversed), Knave of Wands
Success Oracles: Calvin Klein
Love Oracles: Edward VIII
Angel Answers Oracle Cards: It’s up to you, Success!
Underlying Energies: Turn a setback into an advantage. Time to assert control. Master your emotions and passion. Reframe your perspective on success. Reap what you sow. Make the most of your reputation. Finish an unfinished business. Think before committing to any partnership. Minor blessings coming your way.
The Hot Tea: The Universe is letting go of your hand this month, hennies. No, it has not abandoned you, it’s now testing your mettle in watching you as you handle some setbacks you’ll be experiencing in December. Always remember – setbacks and negative experiences are not meant to punish you, but to force a lesson you need to master so you can handle the next phase of your life.
This month you’ll notice that if you are banking on luck – shit’s not going to fall into place as you’d hope for them to be. Nothing that will happen in December will cause you great distress that you find yourself struggling to keep up, but you will find yourself facing delays, given lack of information before starting on a project, thrust in a position where you have to go solo with little help from others, and even facing somewhat of instability when it comes to your routine and resources.
These things are put in place so the Universe can gauge how quick you are in thinking of ways to adapt, evolve and overcome issues you’re facing. If you just break down and cry, throw a tantrum, blame everyone else, the Universe is going to be a little let down – and not allow bigger and better things it has in store for you to proceed as planned. Mentally, you need to fight against your inner saboteur and assert yourself.
I know December is probably the last month you’d want some challenges thrown your way as it’s usually a month where people check out and put themselves in a holiday mood. But that is the kind of mindset that keeps you small, stagnant, and unfulfilled. This month calls for taking bold steps, finding your voice and saying what needs to be said, and just showing the Universe, the people around you, and yourself that you are capable of so much more.
You may not be fully aware of this, but people around you think highly of you despite the narrative your negative thought pattern may have convinced you. Leverage on this, and show them that you can more than live up to their expectations of you. And if you need to, go out of your way to prove your capabilities. When you step up to the challenge, the Universe will send you a blessing to multiply what you may achieve. But only if you put in the effort and let go of your small mindset that is limiting your life at the present moment.
Will you be free of mistakes this month that may make you look bad? No. You may stumble a couple of times. But how you pick yourself back up, banish your ‘woe is me’ mentality, and think quickly on your feet will impress some notable people who will remember this for a long time and entrust you with more responsibilities in the working world.
For some of you, there’s something that has been bugging you for a while; an unresolved issue that has been sitting at the back of your mind that you feel like you cannot deal with successfully. The bad news is you will be forced to deal with this in December whether you want to or not, and the good news is – you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to handle it when you don’t have a failure mindset holding your back. This can be in the form of a sore relationship or an incomplete project that you have no more interest or passion in. Close that chapter this month and you’ll find yourself benefiting from this in subsequent months.
Love & Lust: Here we go again, Susan. You’re single again because you will not settle for anyone but Timothée Chalamet. Gurl, I can’t with you. The Universe is calling out the energy of unrealistic expectations and a refusal to budge from a dusty old list of demands out of a love interest.
Singles will experience a love interest coming out of the woodwork showing some affection towards you. But this person is a little different from your usual type. This person will tick your boxes in terms of sexual spark and attraction, but beyond that, this is a different type of person than what you’re used to.
For some of you, there’s an unhealthy preoccupation with a person’s status or what they can bring to the table and what being with them means for you socially. There’s no shame in expecting the best from your love interest, but December is about subduing those – sometimes ridiculous – expectations and breaking free from your usual types. This person may come from a very different background from you and you may not know how to deal. Like, first of all, if they’re human, then how difficult can it be? Like talk to them and learn.
There’s a definite age difference here at play, and also one of personality. One of you may be a little too positive in your outlook on life and that needs some adjustments. Maybe it’s for the best, if you don’t grow out of your shell, then what’s the point of living life?
Couples may find their energies a little out of sync lately. One of you is content emotionally, while the other seems to want a little more physical connection from this union. It’s not that both of you are not compatible, it’s just that things are getting in the way of having both parties be fulfilled in all aspects of this connection. There is nothing inherently wrong with this connection, but there’s a sense that one of you feels like as of now, it’s as though you’re just hanging on to this relationship because both of you are already committed to it.
That is not a good mindset to be in. Sometimes the things we think about may not always be the case. Basically, y’all need to get some fucking. Seriously, voice it out that living together, not cheating, and being comfortable with one another are great elements of what makes this relationship work, but physical satisfaction is a must too. Remember that when you take someone for granted and expect them to be there for you all the time while you are busy making money, you may find yourself enjoying all that coin alone one day. Just saying.
The Magical Nordic Tarot: 8 of Wands (reversed), 8 of Cups, 7 of Swords, 8 of Swords, 6 of Swords (reversed)
Tarot of Sexual Magic: Knave of Pentacles, 2 of Chalices, Queen of Wands (reversed), Lovers, Ace of Pentacles (reversed)
Success Oracles: Tyra Banks
Love Oracles: Joan of Arc
Angel Answers Oracle Cards: Remain positive, Look for a sign
Underlying Energies: Deciding to move on. Only strike at the right moment. Time to slow down. Be strategic in your decisions. The need for clear communication. Think about the long-term outcomes. Don’t be distracted by emotions and passions. Starting afresh in an old partnership.
The Hot Tea: Some decisions are tough to make – especially when it involves changing lanes and going into a new territory that you may be unfamiliar with. Maybe it’s just that you’ve been where you’re at for a while now and the thought of braving the unknown is unnerving to you.
There’s definite energy of someone a little neurotic, or living inside their head. Sometimes crippling yourself with the worst-case scenarios that you hold yourself back. This is not helping if you are considering a move away from where you’re at in life to someplace better, be it in your professional life or life in general.
You may have been feeling a sense that you no longer fit being around the people you’re with now and that you deserve better, or at least shake things up so you can start fresh somewhere with people who can appreciate what you can bring to the table. If you’ve been harboring these feelings for a while, why fight it? It’s there for a reason.
From my cards, the main thing you need to worry about is self-sabotaging your chance at moving to someplace better because of the build-up of fear that you’ve had for a while. Right now, the Universe is prodding you to step away from standing still and make the jump – don’t worry, the Universe will be there to make sure you don’t fall flat on your face.
Knowing your worth is important in December and that is the central theme you need to address and the lessons you’ll encounter will always be related to this issue. I can’t tell you to take the first offer you are presented with just to make a change in your life. But there will be instances where you may need to exercise more discretion and assess multiple options correctly to see which one makes your heart sing. This move will allow you to be yourself, express what you’ve been holding back, and will have a tremendously positive effect on your life in months or years to come.
Just because you need to remove self-doubt doesn’t mean that you need to leave it all to chance. Remember your need to know your self-worth? Don’t take the easy way out because you think that’s all you deserve. You may find yourself being presented with an opportunity that calls for more responsibility than before and that is the catalyst that will kickstart a series of growth in your personal and professional life. For some of you this could be moving to another location (state or even country) and starting a new life elsewhere, for others, it’s about switching to a different job.
Love & Lust: Is this true love?! Singles will be asking themselves that this month when a certain charming love interest presents themselves to you! Well, to add to the drama, the Universe will be throwing several mysteries about this person that will keep you guessing. Uggh I know, the Universe may seem to be dramatic, but it’s actually the love lesson you need to go through this month: How well are you able to stay grounded and make good decisions without being caught up in all the emotions and passions that come with being in love?
You might want to be clear about what you’re looking for instead of going with the flow. Have you heard of the saying: be careful what you wish for? Well, you just might get it. If you think saying you want a relationship comes off as desperate and you then realised that they think you’re just here for a good time, don’t be surprised if that’s all they will offer you.
Be mindful that what you want is aligned with who they are and what they can bring to the table. Taking things slow is the name of the game in December. Don’t rush into things, don’t try to nail down what the connection means to both of you, and just pause for a second and let things organically grow.
Couples may find December to be filled with questions about the status of your relationship. Are they falling out of love? Are they unhappy with how things are going with us? Are they spending too much time talking to another person? Sis, you’re all over the place right now and it’s just not cute.
Spiraling out of control is not a good look and it certainly could break a relationship, especially since you have been plagued with insecurities that make you a little too much to handle right now. Chill. Do not jump to conclusions and understand one thing: if you have no proof – please don’t go on a rampage and destroy something that is in a good place. Remember the self-worth theme this month? That is what you need to work on. If you’re constantly questioning the person you’re with and feeling like you’re not in a good place, what does it say about the trust in the relationship? Playing the crazy card isn’t the way to go. Sometimes we overthink and what you need is a little self-discipline to not self-sabotage in December.
Your partner is constantly texting one individual that got you feeling insecure? Ask them what that’s about. Then let it go. The energy is a little different at home? Ask what’s up and see what both of you can do to bring back the old energy into the relationship. Sometimes the problem isn’t always with your partner. Sometimes you gotta look deep into yourself and ask if you’re the one who is undermining this relationship because of your trust issues.
The Magical Nordic Tarot: Ace of Wands (reversed), Fool (reversed), 3 of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, Charity
Tarot of Sexual Magic: 8 of Pentacles, Tower, Queen of Chalices (reversed), 8 of Wands (reversed), 7 of Pentacles (reversed)
Success Oracles: Jane Fonda
Love Oracles: Emily Bronte
Angel Answers Oracle Cards: Wait, Recovery
Underlying Energies: Unfulfilled goal. Courage to walk away. Utilize your social currency. Be bold, not impulsive. Unexpected development. Free from emotional burden. Putting in the necessary work. Find a new audience. Being held back from greater things.
The Hot Tea: Sometimes we think we got it in the bag, only to be disappointed when we were told that the prize has been given to someone else. Total bummer, I know. But here’s the thing, we’re limited by what we know of the future, and sometimes what we think is the best thing that could happen to us turns out to be a trap that holds us in place and prevent us from growing.
This month, your main lesson is to know the barriers that are keeping you small – and the part you played in allowing others to fence you in. There will be some sort of disappointment in not attaining something you have been waiting to receive. For some, it’s asking for a raise or a promotion because of the hard work in handling extra responsibility lately. For others, someone you depend on for a little relief in your life just fails to live up to their expectations.
Whatever it is, don’t waste your time whining and moaning. This is a sign the Universe is trying to show you: If something isn’t pulling through for you when you need it the most, it’s time to cut your losses and move on. Those who pick this pile have the energy of being taken advantage of because you have carved an image of yourself as someone who is fine with accepting crumbs and that has infected those around you to never give you more than crumbs. Sadly, you won’t change their minds. You need a fresh start.
If you can, use December as a time to gather your strengths, accolades, accomplishments and present them to people who can see your worth and pay (or acknowledge) you equally. Enough of just going under the radar. You are meant to shine. You may feel hurt when you are told that you will not be receiving the boon that you’ve been counting on – guess what? Fuck them.
December is not a time to be still. December is all about foraging, pitching, and selling the fuck out of yourself until you find yourself in a spot where you get more than what you think you deserve. It’ll be unnerving and you’ll feel the impostor syndrome creeping in – but you know who the fuck you are, so get over it. The Universe will pull strings to help you, but you need to be courageous enough to plan the move.
Love & Lust: Singles who are too preoccupied with gathering resources and neglecting their emotional needs may find a nice surprise in the realm of work and self-improvement. There’s a love interest coming either in a workplace or classes you are attending.
This person can be quite the opposite of you. You may be a shy, quiet and reserved person who tends to doubt yourself, and the other person may be boisterous, opinionated, and not afraid of shaking things up. Or vice versa. It’s really a case of attraction of the opposites!
One thing to take note of is the need to guard against predatorial or dominance over the more quiet personality. This can cause unhappiness in the long run and ruin the connection before it has a chance to fully bloom. If you’re the shrinking violet, be strategic in how you choose to assert yourself: try not to always agree with what they want to do. Speak up and say what you want. Let them know you are agreeable and pleasant, but you are not a mindless sex doll.
But..uggh I fucking hate bearing bad news. I don’t think this person will be with you for the long term. But being with them will teach you some good karmic lessons you will find useful. Why not? December is not looking like a month for you to find the love of your life so fuck it – enjoy the ride.
The pattern for both singles and couples this month is to understand one another, know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and work it out instead of bottling things up.
Couples…for some of you there’s the energy of someone cheating and it hits you like a brick at the back of your head. You didn’t expect that. It hurts like hell and you are left in a daze. Well. What do both of you want to do now? That is not my place to tell you what to do. Is this a deal-breaker? Do you want to know the truth as to why your partner cheated on you? Sometimes it’s best to rip the bandage off so we know what we need to work on before we move on – or stay together and work things through.
For others, there’s a definite distance and cheating still – but not with an individual. It’s like their job is taking precedence over your union. You get a feeling like they prefer to go to work rather than spend time with you.
The issue here is unrealistic expectations. One or both of you expect a relationship to be the same as when you were both dating. Mawma, this is not how love is. You, your partner, or both of you, have been watching way too many Disney princess movies. This whole “Love is all you need” notion is nonsensical and unrealistic. Love is great but being in a relationship is a commitment that both need to put work into to grow stronger and share life goals – it’s not going to be charming all the time.
This is not the end. This is just a rough patch. Come on now, Mary. Stop being dramatic and work things out like fucking adults. Uggh, I know. You’re just looking for a spell to make things better. Well, wake the fuck up, the Universe is presenting you with this issue because you need to learn.
The Magical Nordic Tarot: 9 of Cups, Knight of Cups, Page of Cups, Chariot, Moon (reversed)
Tarot of Sexual Magic: 9 of Pentacles, 7 of Pentacles (reversed), Queen of Chalices (reversed), Queen of Swords (reversed), 6 of Swords
Success Oracles: Martha Stewart
Love Oracles: Greta Garbo
Angel Answers Oracle Cards: Big happy changes, Compromise
Underlying Energies: Receiving wonderful news. Great blessings to come if you take action. Call to focus to upgrade in status. Always be diplomatic. Fill a niche to make yourself indispensable. Give yourself a time out. Stop receiving lesser than what you deserve.
The Hot Tea: The sun is shining brightly for you this December! Ok, kinda. By the looks of things, your mind and spirit will be aligned to follow up with what is needed to achieve the success you deserve to receive this month if you start planning your next move.
The theme for you this month is to shed what is no longer propelling you to greater heights. That means taking a step back, breathe and analyzing what is holding you back and what you need to do to get ahead in all areas of your life. The Universe is waiting for your action plan and is ready to give you the much-needed support to get you closer to your goals.
This is where things get a little tough. Emotions will get in the way – be it nostalgia or misplaced loyalty – and that is what you need to manage carefully. But hey, shedding the unnecessary or things that have outlived their usefulness is part of the lesson this month, so start cutting the cord. It doesn’t mean that you have to isolate yourself from them, it’s just that you need to start flying elsewhere to greener pasture. And boy, you’ll be in for a treat if you play this right.
Love & Lust: Singles may feel like they’ve gone through a glow-up lately… but your happily-ever-after is still not happening and you feel your old self is creeping back into your mind to live rent-free.
Hold the fuck up. There’s no reason to let go again after the hard work you’ve put in to step your pussy up. This is the next part of the glow-up: consistency and resilience. You cannot expect instant gratification – did you forget that part?
Maybe the Universe is throwing you a bone this month as there’s a love interest that is in the shadows waiting to make their appearance in December. They may not appear to be attracted to you yet, but they’re there. You need to do your part by keeping your energetic vibrations up and putting your trust in the Universe that good things are coming. Don’t expect fireworks or any grand gestures soon, but things will be subtle as it slowly builds up to a wonderful start of a love journey!
Something to take note of about this month’s energy is that if you slip back into your insecure self, you will still attract an admirer, but someone of destructive nature that will reinforce your low self-esteem and just lure you into a very unhealthy relationship dynamic. You don’t want that, henny. Trust.
Couples have very interesting energy here. And by interesting I mean bad. You or both of you are staying in the relationship out of convenience and material reasons instead of being in love.
Emotions and clear communication between you two seem to have gone out the window. But is it really over? That’s hard for me to decide for you because how much those two qualities are lacking in this relationship really depends on your own judgment.
For some of you, this can be remedied by just giving space to each other so both of you can develop individual interests aside from doing everything together. The key here is that there’s a sense that the energy between the two of you is getting stifled. Maybe you both are too comfortable and have slipped into this auto-pilot mode with each other that it feels like you’re two strangers sleeping on the same bed instead of lovers.
Maybe you both are so caught up in believing that couples have to spend every free time together that you both felt a tad resentful of not being able to just do your thing and then go back to share about the fun day each of you had separately.
If you both have tried that and you still feel stagnant, then decide. Is staying together because it’s convenient to do so the best thing for your mental health? If both of you or just you are unhappy and want more, then what’s stopping you from moving on?